Two Small Books
by Saroko Phoenix
Summary: When the Resisty gets the gall to directly attack Irk, the Tallest send out their attack dog, Nem, to save their hides. But is this really the Resisty's doing or someone elses?
1. Nem

_One day, I was thinking up my very own IZ character when this sudden plot assaulted me like a bat to the head. I'm kinda making it up as I go so no flames please. Also if you want to suggest an idea, go ahead and review. hinthint_

_Note: There will be some religious references in later chapters. Don't like? Then don't read._

_Disclaimer: Nem and Poltergeist are solely my characters and no one elses. The others belong to the wonderful, talented-andhereallyshould'vegoneonwiththeIZseries-man: J.V._

Place: A random, one story office on Irk. Time: 12-13-07 5:14 Earth Time

The room was small and so cramped that you had to be an ant just to navigate to the door. It was cluttered because both the mountains and sea of papers were abundant and bulky. There was only one window which was almost always closed and hidden by cheap, ugly blinds. And there was a single desk that was so cluttered that it was threatening to collapse on itself due to the sheer weight of papers stacked on it. Opposite the desk was a slightly opened closet door and the only wall space that was visible.

In other words: It was a room you'd want to neither work nor live in.

Unfortunately, it was that kind of living condition that Nem was forced to contend with.

Nem's appearance didn't help of course. He was taller than most Irkens, which was actually a hindrance since his ceiling was so low. Also, the way he dressed made his landlord suspicious of him, thus he was given the worst office in the whole building. What he wore was a battered, old P.I. hat (he got it cheap at a Moodwill), a jester-like, silvery shoulder collar, a green shirt with the Irken logo on the front, jet black boots, and equally black gloves. Needless to say, people thought he was either crazy or color blind.

Of course, it could've also been because he had a new injury every time he came back from a job. During the years since he had gotten into the mercenary work, he had nearly had his lungs melted, had his arms half-way severed, burnt his antenna, and had gone temporarily blind. And that was not including all the operations he had to remove various projectiles. Today, all he had was a broken arm.

He absent mildly stared at the sling wrapped around his shoulder; as if he had the psychic ability to make it disappear. When that failed, he turned to look at the other living creature in his room/ office that was currently going through his file cabinet. It resembled a bloated hand and was navy blue. Its eyes were small, yellow, and unblinking. Two, thin and long claw-like fingers fingered through the various files. Sensing it was being watched, the hand thingy turned to look at him.

Nem looked away and sank into his chair. Boredom might have been…well…boring, but it beat being shot at.

Suddenly, the mountain of papers on his desk submerged him as they were shaken off. They had shaken off because the desk was shaking. And the desk was only shaking because the floor was shaking. And the floor was only shaking because of a sudden and very violent earthquake.

To those of you who saw this coming: Shut up.

When the shaking finally stopped, Nem fought to the surface and ran to the window. Tearing off the blinds, he revealed a sight straight from an alien movie. One-man piloted ships swarmed in and blasted various skyscrapers to kingdom come. Irkens ran screaming in the streets; some even ran towards the ships. One of the ships flew by close to Nem's window for him to see the gray skinned alien within it.

"The Resisty! Poltergeist! Get in here!" The closet door slammed open (more or less. It got blocked by some papers), and a navy blue, snake like creature came out. It had a mane of tiny spikes along the back of his neck and a pointed snout. It also had the same small, yellow eyes as the hand thingy. Speaking of which, one of those hand things was floating beside him and the one from earlier flew towards him as well.

He flew towards Nem and he and his hands looked outside. He looked at Nem with concern. "I know," Nem agreed. "We'd better get to Shelters."

The Shelters were actually the basement of the Tallests. They were originally built to contain the population of the capital city of Irk in case of an emergency. Of course, knowing the Tallests Red and Purple, it was probably being used as a storage for snacks.

Nem tried not to think of that very likely possibility.

The two ran for the door. Suddenly, Poltergeist paused for a moment by the file cabinet. "What are you doing you idiot?" Nem hissed as he kicked some papers away. The snake didn't listen. Instead, one of his hands opened the bottom file cabinet.

Three more navy blue creatures flew out of the file. One was in the shape of one of those human flippers. The other two each resembled a scythe shaped wing with a string trailing behind it. They flew down to Poltergeist and orbited around him while one of his hands reached into the filing cabinet and brought out a white book decorated in a faded, floral print.

"Real nice, Poltergeist. Now hurry up!" Giving up on prying the door free from the papers blocking it, two metallic arms tinted with claws shot out and ripped it open. Nem smirked at the destructive pleasure in it all and the two ran out.

They didn't linger any longer. Sprinting at full speed, they ran as fast as they could for the exit. Nam slammed through the doors and rushed out the street, and not a moment too soon. At that moment, a ship's rocket shot into the building and obliterated it and everyone inside.

Yet one more perk to having a room on the first floor.

Nem could feel his years of experience instinctively take over. The twosome (not including the thingies although they came too) ducked into an alley. Both knew that the Tallests' Shelters were in the middle of the city. They still had a few yards to go. A few yards full of Irken hating Resisty with missile and laser equipped ships.

Nem smirked and snapped his fingers. "Were hitching a ride," he said with an evil gleem in his red eyes. A menacingly pleased expression formed on Poltergeist's normally placid face and he nodded knowingly. Wordlessly, the two wing thingies hovered beside the reptile and the tips of their strings melded into the skin beside his shoulder blades. Flapping them experimentally, one of Poltergeist's hands gave Nem a 'thumbs up.'

Metallic claws shot out of Nem's pack and lifted the Irken into the air. He carefully climbed up the side of the building while Poltergeist flew up beside him. On the roof, Nem lifted up one of the legs and made it to shine in the sun.

A Resisty ship noticed the glint from the arm and steered towards it. The pilot inside pulled a trigger and fired a rapid series of quick lasers bursts at the oddly dressed Irken. With a well timed jump, Nem jumped into the sky, and not only succeeded in dodging the lasers but also landed on top of the ship.

Nem's front claws pierced the roof of the ship and peeled it back like a can of sardines. The Vortican inside looked up at him with surprise before Nem tossed him out with a flick of his claw. Poltergeist glided inside only a few short moments after Nem strapped himself in and took the controls.

Nem floored it. It would only take the other ships a few minutes before they would realize that one of their own was sporting a sun roof. And when they did, they wouldn't hesitate to fire. The thought made Nem slam down harder on the gas pedal.

"Let's hope that they shot down the Airway Control first," he joked darkly. Poltergeist just wrapped his tail around the head seat and clung on desperately.

* * *

_I wanted this chapter to go on longer, but…it's late and I'm sleepy. Please review and let me know how it goes._


	2. Defective Nem

_This chapter is going to be a little short I'm afraid. Remember how I mentioned that I wanted the last chapter to be a little longer? Well here's the rest of it. Guess you could call it Chapter ½. Yeah, bad joke. I know._

_Disclaimer: I do not own the Tallests, Resisty, or Irkens. If I did, I would've continued the Invader Zim series and would've forced Nickelodeon to continue the show until 2020._

_Warning: There will be _positive_ religious mentionings (mostly surrounding Christianity) in later chapters. Now I understand that many of you think that we religious folk are narrow minded idiots who are constantly judgmental of other people's opinions. smirk I just like prefer not to have my opinion judged in writing._

* * *

"Now I don't understand how the Resisty managed to resist this long. Their ships are second rate. This one couldn't even stand up to one missile. How pathetic." Nem observed the flaming wreckage of the former Resisty ship he and Poltergeist had been flying. Shrugging, he adjusted his hat. "But, I have to admit, it got us to our destination."

The two had crashed landed into the Capital Building of the Irken Empire. The red and purple hallways that had once graced many a conquered guest were now dark and vacant. Pieces of loose glass dropped from the hole Nem and his partner had made in the shattered, glass dome up ahead. "Let's hope that they don't charge us for that."

Nem felt his collar vibrate slightly. Feeling a small lump in one of the two star points, he groaned. "It seems like the Tallests remember us, pal," he groaned. "Funny how they didn't think of us earlier. I'm insulted."

The twosome (and more) ran down the flight after flight of stairs. It was a good twenty minutes before they finally got down to the Storage and, by now, they were both tired and sweaty. When they got down to the Storage, they found themselves both happy with relief and dreading what was inside.

When Nem opened the door, they were both assaulted by the scared cries of the hundreds of Irkens from inside the Storage. Many were cringing together in corners. Mothers cried over smeets that they had been separated from during the attack. Panicking Irkens cried out that the end of the world had come. Some just leaned against the walls, either too stunned or relieved to add to the panic. And standing on a platform, looking more cowardly then the rest, were the Tallest.

Nem shook his head. He could understand why they were scared. He could understand the cornered animal look in their eyes. But what he couldn't understand was why these two 'leaders' take two minutes to try and comfort the crowd and then hide somewhere to panic instead of present it to everyone like a side show.

Nem and Poltergeist pushed their way through the crowd and headed towards the platform. "My Tallests," Nem said as he removed his hat and gave the two Irkens a flick of his antennae. "I believe you had sent for me?"

Upon seeing the slightly smaller Irken, the two Tallests seemed to recover some of there bravado. Red glided over to Nem with a fixed glare. "And it's about time, Defective Nem. Figures that one who has stooped to such a level would be here last."

"I'd rather be the one who got here last than the one who never made it, sir," countered Nem angrily. He really hated that title of his. Nothing got his blood boiling then that damn title. Especially when it came out of this Irken's mouth. "Not that you'd know. You were in this building the whole time and didn't have to worry about being shot at."

"SILENCE!" Purple shouted suddenly. He pressed a button on his shoulder pad, and a paralyzing shock ran through Nem's body. The Irken arched his back and fell to his knees before the Tallest finally took his finger off the trigger, so to speak. "Don't make me remind you not to back talk us again, Nem."

Red laughed and pointed to Poltergeist and his thingies. "You should take an example from your inferior partner. He hasn't talked much since that little accident eighty years ago, huh!" The Tallests laughed but suddenly laughed when the ground began to briefly tremble violently.

Nem lifted an antenna. "I think that the Resisty are using grade B Terra Missiles. That's some seriously high grade weaponry." He got up and non-chalantly put his hat back on. "I think we should skip the small talk and get down to business. Agreed?"

Red gulped. "Agreed. Defective Nem, your assignment is to dispatch-" Another earthquake suddenly cut the Irken off and nearly made the Irken fall over. Trembling, he tried again. "Your assignment-"

BOOM! This time it was a missile.

"Your-"

PHREEEEEEEEEE! BOOM! Another missile.

"AH SCREW IT! JUST GET RID OF THE RESISTY!"

Nem polished his claws on his shirt. "My price?"

Red snarled and jammed a finger in Nem's chest. "Look here, Defect," he hissed. "We could've executed you two for what you did. But instead we gave you the honor of working privately for us. And now, in out darkest hour, you dare ask about your pay!"

Another earthquake sent everyone sprawling. Only Nem and Poltergeist remained firm. "My usual salary then?"

Red stumbled back to his feet. "Yes, and I'll even triple it if you hurry."

A smug smile spread across Nem's features. "Fine then. Now," he turned to address the crowd of Irkens surrounding them. He cupped his hands around his mouth and called," Does anyone here have a Voot Cruiser that isn't completely smashed up?"

* * *

_See? Short chapter. Now please review. The next chapter might be a little late. I have exams coming up and I'm trying to write the next chapter to my Neopets story: _Finishing_. What I can say is that the next one will have Zim and Dib so at least you have something to look forward too._

_Oh, and if anyone would like to name Poltergeist's species, please go right ahead. I'll even give you full credit. See, this charrie. was made up on the spot for my _Drawn to Life_ game and I never imagined that he woud end up in an IZ fic. So..yah. I never got to fill out the details. Go ahead and send your ideas and I'll pick out a goodie for the fourth chapter._

_Also, if you have any ideas for this fic. go ahead and let me know as well. I'll give full credit. _


End file.
